The drive.

She tried to figure out what she was doing during that drive to the city that afternoon. 'Why am I doing this?', she asked herself more than once. 'Is it real?' The excitement though, was starting to rise along with the view of the skyscrapers. She found herself annoyed at the traffic that was prolonging the trip.

Just two short hours before she was toying with the idea of not going. Her roommate convinced her otherwise. What the hell. Why not.

There she was, just pulling into that grand, beautiful city. Mesmerized by the buildings and lights. Oh God, I hope I look alright. A quick look in the mirror made her realize that she was actually doing this.

She smiled.

The phone rang.

'Are you here yet?'
"just trying to park." She couldn't keep the smile out of her voice. She knew he was smiling too.
'Oh, alright, I'll come meet you.'
"ok. see you soon."

A thought entered her mind quickly and made panic flutter through her stomach. But that thought vanished as soon as she saw him. It had been too long. Entirely too long.

As she got out of her car, her heel caught the seatbelt and made her stumble. Laughs erupted from both their mouths and they fell back into their easy friendship.

If you could call it a friendship.

It was good, what ever it was. Still, that panicky thought was at the back of her mind. She did a fairly good job of masking it, keeping it just as a flit of neurons, but it was still there.

The sex was good. Always has been. He was without a doubt the favorite of her partners. She thought about this as they both lit up a cigarette, still red faced in bed.

He got up and let the dog back in the room. Couldn't let poor Floyd watch those acts, he joked.

She got up and starting cooking dinner with the meager supply of food in the fridge. As she was defrosting the chicken he pinched her bare butt.

Still so much chemistry, she thought. How easy this would be.

With that, the thought at the back of her mind burst forth from it's binds and filled her head.

She dropped the chicken into the pan with such force it slid off the burner and onto the stove. It went unnoticed by him.

Unable to keep the thought away, she stared hard at the cooking chicken, letting the smoke and scent carry her away, out the open window and into the city, wondering if another person anywhere was having the same godforsaken thought she was.